Leigh is not where I belong. Take me to Newcastle and let me find what i'm looking for...
Friday, 5 August 2011
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Dear Blog,
I come to you bearing apologies for my incompetence and neglect towards you over these past few months. (Few meaning loads) I have actually been pretty damn busy, what with going to the opposite side of the world, discovering I am incapable of falling in love and then scrubbing elephants you could say that I've had quite a roller coaster!
However, I am not here to brag about my travels or even to discuss my holiday romance. (I fear that if I write about them too quickly I might throw myself into an early grave)
I am here young bloggy to discuss my unhealthy existence and relationships with the other species. Men.
I know this topic has been over done but, for my own amusement and therapy I feel it of absolute importance to write it on here incase anyone of any species has some advice for me that doesn't involve GAMES.
I am now 19, (I aged a full year whilst on a boat in the Whitsundays because I'm a posh Gap 'yar' baghead and by posh I ofcourse mean poor) and this year I feel that boys have become significantly more complicated than ever before. The general response in my case to this is 'Is it me?' But, after conferring with all kinds of specimen it appears that there are rules of which I am not abiding by.
I have been told that there are rules to texting. 'Don't reply quickly' one friend said. Another said 'appear 'elusive' ' elusive?! I don't know how to be evasive or mysterious. Especially if I actually like them and whenever I see them in real life / text them / whatsapp / tweet or instant message I become an array of incomplete sentences. I basically become an absolute nob. There is no two ways about it. A nob who is incapable of conveying any sort of regular human behavior. Or is this normal? Do all mere mortals flood into heaps of jelly once their 'crush' is within their reach? I have no idea what to do but for now I am proving completely inept and incapable of attaining any sort of male for more than a cheeky 'snog' after a few Gin and Tonics.
Sincerely,
Romantically inept curly head.
However, I am not here to brag about my travels or even to discuss my holiday romance. (I fear that if I write about them too quickly I might throw myself into an early grave)
I am here young bloggy to discuss my unhealthy existence and relationships with the other species. Men.
I know this topic has been over done but, for my own amusement and therapy I feel it of absolute importance to write it on here incase anyone of any species has some advice for me that doesn't involve GAMES.
I am now 19, (I aged a full year whilst on a boat in the Whitsundays because I'm a posh Gap 'yar' baghead and by posh I ofcourse mean poor) and this year I feel that boys have become significantly more complicated than ever before. The general response in my case to this is 'Is it me?' But, after conferring with all kinds of specimen it appears that there are rules of which I am not abiding by.
I have been told that there are rules to texting. 'Don't reply quickly' one friend said. Another said 'appear 'elusive' ' elusive?! I don't know how to be evasive or mysterious. Especially if I actually like them and whenever I see them in real life / text them / whatsapp / tweet or instant message I become an array of incomplete sentences. I basically become an absolute nob. There is no two ways about it. A nob who is incapable of conveying any sort of regular human behavior. Or is this normal? Do all mere mortals flood into heaps of jelly once their 'crush' is within their reach? I have no idea what to do but for now I am proving completely inept and incapable of attaining any sort of male for more than a cheeky 'snog' after a few Gin and Tonics.
Sincerely,
Romantically inept curly head.
Friday, 18 February 2011
A day in the life of a fever prone teen.
So, it's the 18th of February and I have never in my life been so ill.
It's four days after valentines day so there was illness / depression to be expected after my romantic jaunt to Newcastle in secret last year, this year I went to stay in Sheffield and immersion myself in a house of boys who's girlfriends are either building wells and helping orphans in Tanzania, or none existent. These lady boys are also my best friends.
So the eve of valentines day was spent watching the beginning of Pulp fiction and listening to the boys weep about their lectures which they had to endure the following day. It was then that I felt it. That harsh ache that proceeds from your nose to your brain, the ache of sheer death that confirms that you are most definitely going to be impaled with the joy of the flu. I immediately divulged in flu tablets, specifically designed to rid humans of such pain and suffering, but oh no. Not me. This cold wasn't going anywhere, it just continued to infect my being with disease.
As I drove home on Valentines day night, wondering whether I'd actually make it home without having to put anymore petrol in my dented, fuel disposing vehicle, I pondered my reasoning for going to the steel city. Was it to spend time with loved ones? Or was it simply to try and forget that I was not even receiving an easter egg this year, never mind a morning kiss to the forehead. I continued to wonder through high speeds on the glorious snake pass, overtaking typical woman drivers who give my gender a bad name. And then overtaking white vans just for thrills. It was then that I found myself between two excellent drivers. They were fast, safe and exciting, All at the same time! And I was glad to not have found myself behind the same epilepsy inducing woman who used her brakes as a stress ball with her feet.
So I was in the middle, I admired their driving, and I thought to myself how they were equally admiring my own. We then came to an abrupt stand still... Caused by snow. SNOW! In February! Alright, It's not exactly a one off occasion that is unheard of in the human world ever but going from sunny, to snow, all in one journey was very odd! We were stuck on a hill, full traffic and the snow was getting thicker. I definitely saw this as a symbol of my heart and soul refreezing and becoming an irrevocable stone interior. The car was skidding as we moved centimetres at a time, I prayed to the car 'come on Pamela, please don't send me off the side of this sudden death cliff.' I could imagine the headlines; 'single girl dies tragically on valentines day, without even a rose by her side.' But I did not tumble to my death, I strode on, slowly but surely. And that is exactly what I shall do. Slowly and hopefully surely I will proceed in life to meet people who don't ignore me for months at a time and then text me saying 'sorry for being a life long twat with you.' My response was that his apology was better last year.
Story time over. I am going to now, attempt to get over my illness by having my newly purchased Adele album on at a reasonable volume, whilst reading 'A clockwork orange.' An apparent classic that I have yet to fall in love with.
It's four days after valentines day so there was illness / depression to be expected after my romantic jaunt to Newcastle in secret last year, this year I went to stay in Sheffield and immersion myself in a house of boys who's girlfriends are either building wells and helping orphans in Tanzania, or none existent. These lady boys are also my best friends.
So the eve of valentines day was spent watching the beginning of Pulp fiction and listening to the boys weep about their lectures which they had to endure the following day. It was then that I felt it. That harsh ache that proceeds from your nose to your brain, the ache of sheer death that confirms that you are most definitely going to be impaled with the joy of the flu. I immediately divulged in flu tablets, specifically designed to rid humans of such pain and suffering, but oh no. Not me. This cold wasn't going anywhere, it just continued to infect my being with disease.
As I drove home on Valentines day night, wondering whether I'd actually make it home without having to put anymore petrol in my dented, fuel disposing vehicle, I pondered my reasoning for going to the steel city. Was it to spend time with loved ones? Or was it simply to try and forget that I was not even receiving an easter egg this year, never mind a morning kiss to the forehead. I continued to wonder through high speeds on the glorious snake pass, overtaking typical woman drivers who give my gender a bad name. And then overtaking white vans just for thrills. It was then that I found myself between two excellent drivers. They were fast, safe and exciting, All at the same time! And I was glad to not have found myself behind the same epilepsy inducing woman who used her brakes as a stress ball with her feet.
So I was in the middle, I admired their driving, and I thought to myself how they were equally admiring my own. We then came to an abrupt stand still... Caused by snow. SNOW! In February! Alright, It's not exactly a one off occasion that is unheard of in the human world ever but going from sunny, to snow, all in one journey was very odd! We were stuck on a hill, full traffic and the snow was getting thicker. I definitely saw this as a symbol of my heart and soul refreezing and becoming an irrevocable stone interior. The car was skidding as we moved centimetres at a time, I prayed to the car 'come on Pamela, please don't send me off the side of this sudden death cliff.' I could imagine the headlines; 'single girl dies tragically on valentines day, without even a rose by her side.' But I did not tumble to my death, I strode on, slowly but surely. And that is exactly what I shall do. Slowly and hopefully surely I will proceed in life to meet people who don't ignore me for months at a time and then text me saying 'sorry for being a life long twat with you.' My response was that his apology was better last year.
Story time over. I am going to now, attempt to get over my illness by having my newly purchased Adele album on at a reasonable volume, whilst reading 'A clockwork orange.' An apparent classic that I have yet to fall in love with.
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Well don't I feel like a terrible blogging avoider.
To begin, Happy new year you cheeky chappies! I hope you enjoyed the festivities and drank all your sorrows away with plenty or sherry, brandy and for those typical punters; good old beer.
So it's January 2011, i have become a victim of eye damage and splashed the cash on some beautiful spectacles to help me see the world in a better light. So far no luck. (They do however look quite nice and urge me to read educational novels and watch more politics shows.)
Today I actually have a very strong opinion on the world and it's overflowing issues that I assume we are all aware about, and for once, it isn't that blasted VAT increase that I assure you I am equally as baffled and upset by. I feel I could buy a small country with the amount I now have to spend on petrol to damage the world with. But this is beside the point. (politics shows are driving me to a very cynical view about the economy). My issue today is Missing people.
Missing people, call me naive but I really wasn't aware that in 2011 people could just up and disappear, I've obviously heard of it before, the unsolved suspecting kidnapping of all kinds of humans that are televised and then come to either a dramatic, humanity questioning end like that of Shannon what's her name who was hid under her uncles bed for cash and attention, later shamed by the nation.( Her and the woman who put the cat in the bin should really be locked up together, either under a bed, in a bin or in some kind of holding cabinet made for ridiculous excuses for adults who cannot control their lives. ) But, I didn't realise that there are THOUSANDS of missing people out there. I've just ventured to a website that asked me; 'are you missing?' I now doubt the legitimacy of my parents seeing as I do look of a different ethnicity than my paler than snow brother...
But on a serious note; why can't we find these people? Where are they? How have these people, if they have been kidnapped, never been found? It shames me as a newly born adult that I was unaware of the sheer magnitude of disappearances of all ages, lost and never found. Like clips that just disappear from my life, thousands I have gone through and everytime I have to reinvest in some as they seem to just vanish. Is there a place for these missing things? Some magical world that only the good, worthy and lost find themselves in?
So if you are missing, If I am missing, if you know someone that is missing, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
So it's January 2011, i have become a victim of eye damage and splashed the cash on some beautiful spectacles to help me see the world in a better light. So far no luck. (They do however look quite nice and urge me to read educational novels and watch more politics shows.)
Today I actually have a very strong opinion on the world and it's overflowing issues that I assume we are all aware about, and for once, it isn't that blasted VAT increase that I assure you I am equally as baffled and upset by. I feel I could buy a small country with the amount I now have to spend on petrol to damage the world with. But this is beside the point. (politics shows are driving me to a very cynical view about the economy). My issue today is Missing people.
Missing people, call me naive but I really wasn't aware that in 2011 people could just up and disappear, I've obviously heard of it before, the unsolved suspecting kidnapping of all kinds of humans that are televised and then come to either a dramatic, humanity questioning end like that of Shannon what's her name who was hid under her uncles bed for cash and attention, later shamed by the nation.( Her and the woman who put the cat in the bin should really be locked up together, either under a bed, in a bin or in some kind of holding cabinet made for ridiculous excuses for adults who cannot control their lives. ) But, I didn't realise that there are THOUSANDS of missing people out there. I've just ventured to a website that asked me; 'are you missing?' I now doubt the legitimacy of my parents seeing as I do look of a different ethnicity than my paler than snow brother...
But on a serious note; why can't we find these people? Where are they? How have these people, if they have been kidnapped, never been found? It shames me as a newly born adult that I was unaware of the sheer magnitude of disappearances of all ages, lost and never found. Like clips that just disappear from my life, thousands I have gone through and everytime I have to reinvest in some as they seem to just vanish. Is there a place for these missing things? Some magical world that only the good, worthy and lost find themselves in?
So if you are missing, If I am missing, if you know someone that is missing, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
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