So, it's the 18th of February and I have never in my life been so ill.
It's four days after valentines day so there was illness / depression to be expected after my romantic jaunt to Newcastle in secret last year, this year I went to stay in Sheffield and immersion myself in a house of boys who's girlfriends are either building wells and helping orphans in Tanzania, or none existent. These lady boys are also my best friends.
So the eve of valentines day was spent watching the beginning of Pulp fiction and listening to the boys weep about their lectures which they had to endure the following day. It was then that I felt it. That harsh ache that proceeds from your nose to your brain, the ache of sheer death that confirms that you are most definitely going to be impaled with the joy of the flu. I immediately divulged in flu tablets, specifically designed to rid humans of such pain and suffering, but oh no. Not me. This cold wasn't going anywhere, it just continued to infect my being with disease.
As I drove home on Valentines day night, wondering whether I'd actually make it home without having to put anymore petrol in my dented, fuel disposing vehicle, I pondered my reasoning for going to the steel city. Was it to spend time with loved ones? Or was it simply to try and forget that I was not even receiving an easter egg this year, never mind a morning kiss to the forehead. I continued to wonder through high speeds on the glorious snake pass, overtaking typical woman drivers who give my gender a bad name. And then overtaking white vans just for thrills. It was then that I found myself between two excellent drivers. They were fast, safe and exciting, All at the same time! And I was glad to not have found myself behind the same epilepsy inducing woman who used her brakes as a stress ball with her feet.
So I was in the middle, I admired their driving, and I thought to myself how they were equally admiring my own. We then came to an abrupt stand still... Caused by snow. SNOW! In February! Alright, It's not exactly a one off occasion that is unheard of in the human world ever but going from sunny, to snow, all in one journey was very odd! We were stuck on a hill, full traffic and the snow was getting thicker. I definitely saw this as a symbol of my heart and soul refreezing and becoming an irrevocable stone interior. The car was skidding as we moved centimetres at a time, I prayed to the car 'come on Pamela, please don't send me off the side of this sudden death cliff.' I could imagine the headlines; 'single girl dies tragically on valentines day, without even a rose by her side.' But I did not tumble to my death, I strode on, slowly but surely. And that is exactly what I shall do. Slowly and hopefully surely I will proceed in life to meet people who don't ignore me for months at a time and then text me saying 'sorry for being a life long twat with you.' My response was that his apology was better last year.
Story time over. I am going to now, attempt to get over my illness by having my newly purchased Adele album on at a reasonable volume, whilst reading 'A clockwork orange.' An apparent classic that I have yet to fall in love with.
